


Can't Go Back

by gryffindorJ



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal Fingering, Blow Jobs, Drinking, Kissing, M/M, Pining, Recreational Drug Use, Secret Relationship, Summer Romance, Summer Vacation, Touching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-02
Updated: 2016-09-02
Packaged: 2018-08-12 15:18:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7939471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gryffindorJ/pseuds/gryffindorJ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The school year begins tomorrow...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can't Go Back

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mindabbles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mindabbles/gifts).



_Teddy, Teddy, Teddy..._

It's a constant refrain in James's head. He's a child who only knows one word, one name, and it circles again through his head. 

He's a wraith moving through the world. He turns as he's dimly aware someone has said his name. He says nothing to them in reply, only a shake of the head declining the hit of Louis's best weed. He moves once more a ghost of the person he was. One thought drawing him forward, taking him to where he needs to be. 

He finds himself in the dining room and there _he_ is. Teddy is laying the last fork on the table. James realises he should laugh at how he's set it. It's a mess, a job done as a caveman would've done. Despite Teddy's gran's best efforts Teddy lacks any domestic finesse. He can't even Banish his clothes to the hamper properly. Not the James cares, he wants to laugh with the pure joy of Teddy being exactly who he is. But James is still a shadow of himself so he can only manage a smile before the room is bustling with other people. 

James ends up right next to Teddy, and James's head swims at the flick of Teddy's dark eyes looking him up and down. Teddy reaches to pour red wine into James's glass and uses the moment of closeness to tease him with a whisper. "You going to entertain us again with your great Quidditch Finale story from fifth year?" 

James places a hand firmly over the top of his glass to keep Teddy from giving him anything to drink. James can't reply, his cheeks are flaming with embarrassment that is oddly arousing. Teddy tells James he talks too much about himself all the time; but not to censure him, James can tell Teddy finds it amusing, endearing. It's the tone Teddy uses when he wants to kiss James, to touch James. A hint of a joke, dry sarcasm given to words he truly means. 

"You sure?" Teddy asks motioning with the bottle. 

"Yeah," James nods. He doesn't want to be high, he doesn't want to be drunk on anything but Teddy. He only wants to feel the complete intoxication of Teddy taking him into his body. 

There is food, the regular last meal of the summer but James can't tell you what it is even as he eats every bite. He is a seventeen-year-old boy; food is only second to one thing and that one thing is sitting right next him, his hand secretly on James's thigh under the table. 

James can't imagine how will live without that hand on his thigh. How can he wake up tomorrow and go back to school? How will he go back to a life without Teddy? How will he go back to a life where there are girls? James is not the person who got off the train in June. 

Teddy wasn't James's first, far from, but he was the first person to spark something in James, make him feel alive in a way no amount of fanny or odd shower fumblings ever had. 

James remembers tight, wet, red swim shorts with white stripes down the sides being yanked down, revealing a long, hard, pink cock. The salt of Teddy's lips from the water. The sound of ocean crashing outside as James thrust and came harder than he ever imagined possible. 

Not every time was that way. Hard and fast would lead to drawn out. James begging with the need to come as Teddy slid two fingers into his arse, his mouth around James's cock. 

Teddy coughs as his fingers find the edge of James's cock which is thick, hard, and straining against his damn jeans. 

James eats his pudding, not tasting a thing and not knowing how he manages a conversation with his dad about classes this year. 

The table begins to clear as the kids wander off to check their trunks and his parents to clean the dishes. 

"Everything all right?" Teddy says turning to James and looking him full in the eye. 

"How am I supposed to go back?" James replies in a heart-wrenching whisper and finally he feels like himself. He's no longer a shadow but everything he has become and that everything is still as desperate for Teddy as he was the first time they kissed. 

Teddy leans in, pressing a soft kiss to James's cheek with a whispered, "Hush." 

Teddy takes out his wand and flicks it, engulfing them in privacy as he slides beneath the table, between James's legs, and takes James into his mouth.


End file.
